Bad Dive Boat Experience I:
The Meat Market 

* This dive boat (which runs out of the Redondo Beach area). Has a contract with a certain dive organization. In it's efforts to make as much money as possible, the dive boat stuffs it's charters with a combination of classes full of  inexperienced dive students and regular, certified divers. The results is a boat which is crowded and uncomfortable. Not to mention a staff that behaves as if they would rather be in bed sleeping, than on a stuffy dive boat with too many people. Quite frankly, we could not blame them. To this dive boat and it's crew - DOWN to Davy Jones Locker with YA! Arrrrggggg!

The diver from HELL!

 At first glance, we all thought that Phil Collins had given up the drums for a life of scuba diving with the Rum Runners. Of course, we discovered that this man was not Phil Collins, even though the resemblance was uncanny. Instead, he was a full blown, scuba diving sociopath. For this story, we will refer to him as "Phil Collins", for lack of a better name.  Through out the two hour trip to our dive destination, this loan diver continuously hounded everyone on board in his search for a dive buddy. The first unfortunate soul to dive with him had a dive which could have been potentially dangerous. This diver, who was in need, found himself being yelled at by Phil for his troubles underwater, instead of the support that you would expect from two strangers who, for a brief  20 or 30 minutes, have decided to put each other's lives in the hands of another individual. One of our fellow Rum Runner's was PC's next unsuspecting victim.  During the dive, Phil swam like a bat out of hell, taking no more than 1 second at each turn to look at different objects. As our Rum Runner tried his best to enjoy the beauty and serenity of the ocean, this insane moron made our friend's enjoyment less and less possible. At one point, our friend lost all sight of Phil and discovered he was halfway to the island. Being short on air, our Rum Runner had to leave Phil to his own devices and return to the boat. Phil topped off his obnoxious behavior by leaving his telephone number with one of the Rum Runners, who happened to be female, and insisting on being a part of the Club.  To this diver from HELL - DOWN to Davy Jones Locker with YA! Arrrrggggg!

Club Cantamar, La Paz, Mexico
Cigarette BUTT

Ahhhhh, the smell of fresh ocean air and cigarettes in the morning. One would think, considering the great use of lung power that it takes to scuba dive, that one would try to keep their lungs as healthy as possible. Not to mention, respect the lungs of others, especially on a space as small as a dive boat. Not this idiot. Mr. Cigarette Butt made it a point to light up in the center of the boat, first thing in the morning, oblivious to the annoyed divers around him. After being told that most people do not like the lingering smell of cigarettes sinking into their neoprene or the mixed aromas of salt water and cigarette smoke, this jerk finally went to the back of the boat to smoke. Then, without giving it a second thought, the numbskull flicks his used cigarette butt into the ocean. There were many on board who wanted to flick him into the ocean as casually and carefree as he had done with the butt. However, there was fear of the pollution and irreparable damage that would be done to the ocean by throwing this walking  waste factory in. Better to keep him on the boat, and save the oceans from further despair. To this polluting freak, - DOWN to Davy Jones Locker with YA! Arrrrggggg!

Club Cantamar, La Paz, Mexico
WILD TURKEY MAN 

This diver was the thorn in the side of one Rum Runner throughout our dive trip. This man was the proverbial know it all, who has been to every dive sight in the world and wants to tell you about his experiences, regardless of whether you want to hear about it or not. This man also had a constant supply of wild turkey, which could always be found with him and smelled on him 24 hours a day. At breakfast, he had wild turkey. There was also wild turkey for lunch or dinner. Had this Rum Runner not seen him put down the bottle of wild turkey for a moment to eat some chips & salsa, I would have thought that he had had the wild turkey bottle permanently attached to his left hand so as to never be without a drink. Wild turkey man was scruffy, abrupt, drunk and seemed incapable of the dives and feats of which he so eagerly bragged. To this drinker of wild turkey- DOWN to Davy Jones Locker with YA! Arrrrggggg!